Instant Recap:
1. Ministers/Leaders MUST be & learn to be servants first!
2. Leaders MUST learn to put others FIRST!
Ok, Now you are caught up... no excuses!
The focus of this particular post will be about more of the mechanics of doing ministry, than the spiritual focus of the last post.
3. Crisis Management!
First off, and I can't stress this enough.... for a good leader, learning crisis management is a GOLDMINE for leading... NO Matter WHAT, or WHO you are leading!!!
I heard Miles Monroe say one time that when God put Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, he told them to develop people (be fruitful) and Manage (tend) the "Things" of the garden. This is a very key point in learning to be a good and GREAT leader!
YOU MUST understand that in any leadership situation, you MUST... I REPEAT MUST separate people from their stuff!!! People, in general are all in need of the same thing, healthy relationship with God as well as each other. This is wonderful news if you can see that and that alone... The problem seems to be that most leaders will spend 90% of their time dealing with people's stuff, and not in relationship with the people... To use a illustration I used in the last post... Zacchaeus
You see, Zacchaeus was, in his time, what was called the "Chief" tax collector..... Think about that for a second... EVEN the bible refers to Him by what he manages... NOT who he is!
Along comes Jesus...
Jesus saw him in the tree and immediately saw through his stuff to who he was and what HE needed... relationship! He did not see him as his contemporaries did.... a cheat, a swindler, a thief..... in today's world think "Chief Politician".
What does this have to do with Crisis Management?? EVERYTHING!!!!!
IF You can successfully separate people from their stuff, you will alleviate and successfully manage crisis Situations....
You see the KEY to crisis management is to manage the situation not the people... IF you can break down what is happening from what the people really need you can be very successful as a leader of anything.
How does this pertain to small groups you ask??
Well.... here's a situation of something that WILL happen to you as a leader if you give it enough time.....
Let's talk about "Little Johnny", you know the little brat that grew up through all of the cautionary life tales of how to NOT act and what to NOT do. Well.... BAD News, Little johnny, grew up and is now big Johnny, and he got invited to your small group!!!
Big Johnny isn't exactly mean, but he is what we will refer to as "Spiritually Combative"... He is now the guy that is ALWAYS trying to prove how much more he knows than you and how contradictory everything you say about God is.... THIS is a CRISIS, that needs some serious Management!!!!!!!
So what do we do??
First you have to look at the real root of what is going on. You see, Johnny always got in trouble, and his whole life was spent feeling like the world was against HIM because of his actions. YES they did come against HIM but only because they didn't understand how to separate the actions. So now that he is all grown up, he still carries with him this self image of having to prove himself to everyone around him!
How do you deal with that???
First and foremost this is dealt with by having strong and healthy boundaries for any meeting/interaction you have as a leader... They can be as simple as "We are going to talk tonight about....bla, bla..... Please hold any comments till I open the floor for discussions".
Another option (and one I have found very helpful for dealing with a bunch of kids with ADD)
-- Explain the "ground rules" that any comments that are made need to NOT be directed as a response to what someone else has said... Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and it should be a safe environment to share opinions openly.
What setting these ground rules, does is give you the power to stop any arguments, or issues that can arise from people like Johnny... by simply going back to the ground rules, and not putting down the person.... "Please keep in mind johnny, that we are all entitled to our opinions and any comments should not be directed toward someone else because of their opinions".
IF Johnny continues to disrupt, it is a simple matter of taking a break and asking johnny to go to another room (out of earshot of the group) ans simply stating that IF Johnny continues to go against the rules, you will have to ask him to leave. End of discussion!!
In most situations as a leader, rarely will you find your self dealing with a "Physical" crisis, the majority will be these "Emotional" issues and situations.
It is a good thing for leaders to practice dealing with different scenario's... I will give you a few...
1. Johnny, decides he is going to use the time in the meeting to talk about 'Amway' and how it has changed HIS life
2. Someone in the group begins to talk about God and how "SHE" changed her life by leading her to a commune outside of town where she can TRULY be free
3. IN the discussion, you come to a topic of abortion... one of the people in the room has had an abortion, and is in a very emotional state, during the time, she breaks down and starts sobbing uncontrollably.
4. You find out at one meeting that someone is a homosexual.
In each of these examples, IF you can see beyond the issues to the person, you will find the same thing... someone who is in need of relationship with others... And in some cases, it is OK to refer someone to a professional counselor if they need more help than you as a leader can provide. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO FIX ANYONE!!!! Only to Love them and walk with them the best you can!
*** Very Important ***
Remember, IF there is interaction with someone that seems to require/consume the entire focus of the group, take it elsewhere (And always gender specific... guys with guys, girls with girls)
There is always more than 1 person in a group... otherwise it wouldn't be a group (duh) and it is important as a leader to remember that there are quite a few other people with needs, and if one person monopolizes the meeting, can make the others feel less important (Very BAD!!!)
*** Practical Notes From The Dark Side ***
In meetings dealing with people you may occasionally come across a doozie that requires a bit of finesse to deal with.
like...
1. Child abuse.
YOU MUST REPORT THIS TO THE POLICE!!! but be careful, and try to keep as few others in the group from knowing/talking about it as it can cause more harm in the long run than it does good. Try to set up a meeting with a superior or another "Equal" leader to help you walk through this as the more council you can get the better.
2. Spousal Abuse.
This is a bit different, you need to strongly encourage that the person leave the situation and seek help... DO NOT Confront the spouse, as this ALWAYS leads down a bad road and you may not have another chance to help them out of their situation if you do.
3. Attempted Suicide.
IF They are threatening to do harm to themselves or other you MUST REPORT THIS to the authorities!!! If they have already attempted it... remember to deal with them not their situation, they need love not judgement!! They also need someone to walk with them. NO ONE ever attempts suicide in public, or with friends... they do it when, and usually because they are alone... they NEED relationship, and healthy LOVE!!!
4. Death/Divorce... Both can be Equally as painful
This is delicate in that everyone grieves differently, but everyone that grieves, MUST be allowed to grieve in their own way (as long as it isn't causing harm to themselves or others)
Let them grieve, be there if they need you and pray for them from a distance if they don't... that's about all you can do.
I think that about covers most of what I can think of for this post, I will post lots more soon [;o)
Showing posts with label Christianity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christianity. Show all posts
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
What Every (small group) Leader Should Know - pt. 1
A question I have been pondering in my mind recently (since a recent meeting with my pastor) is ...
WHAT should Small Group leader's know??
Kind of a loaded question, but I hope in my ramblings about life and ministry experience, I can give a bit of an answer that is useful.
IF I have learned one thing in life and ministry it is this...
1. Ministers/Leaders MUST be & learn to be servants first!
You see in the new testament church, there came a point when certain widows were being overlooked. This wasn't an intentional thing, but the "12" were so busy serving and trying to keep everyone going in the right direction (and there were so many new ones daily) that they couldn't do it all anymore, at that point there arose a need for others to be "Appointed" to the role of serving! - These men weren't the holiest looking, and they didn't always say the right thing - BUT they were "known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom" (acts 6:3)
This is one of these times in the theological world known as the "Law of First Reference" and VERY IMPORTANT in church leadership. This is the first place in the New Testament Church where we clearly see the appointing of church leaders other than the "Primary Leader(s)" and what are they?? Servants!! Appointed Servants!
IF small group leaders (or any leader for that matter) can learn THIS first... Operating as a servant regardless if title, position, or anyone even knowing their name--- they will be on the road to becoming GREAT in the kingdom!
That's just the beginning --- Serving never stops!
2. Leaders MUST learn to put others FIRST!
This one can be affected tremendously by the personality of the individual, but I will try to talk through some of that as well.
What does it mean to put other's first? Well, let's start with Zacchaeus ....
When learning to be & become a better leader, it is important that we take our cues from the best leaders of the bible, starting with the "Mac" of all leaders -- Jesus. With this particular story we see Jesus walking down the street amongst a large crowd, when things take a bit of a turn...
The bible doesn't say much about zacchaeus other than he was THE chief tax collector and was wealthy... it also goes on to say (Luke 19:1-3) He wanted to see who Jesus was, but being a short man he could not, because of the crowd. --
Here is a very interesting point... He wanted to see "Who Jesus Was" -- Nothing more. He wasn't looking for a miracle, or healing... He wasn't looking for the key to life... the universe... and everything (42) ... He wasn't looking for the spiritual existentialism that most would die for... He simply wanted to see who Jesus was!
Next up is where we very clearly see "Who Jesus Is" in this light. What does Jesus do?? Sees him, and says... "Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today."
You see as an effective leader we MUST learn to put others needs above our own, or above our expectation of their needs... I will say this at the risk of upsetting a lot of more traditional church "leaders" but sometimes what the people really need is NOT another event, NOT a bible study, NOT a great band on Sunday... what they need is a REAL, PERSONAL, and DEFINABLE connection and experience with the LIVING God!!! Can You SEE THAT!!! That is HUGE as a leader! People really need GOD more than they need YOU... but we are here to be used by God to be that connection sometimes, and more importantly to point people to God, then get out of the way!
I promise you ... 5 min experiencing the true and LIVING God can change your life more, and leave you happier than 1000 sermons I can give and weeks/months/years of counseling I could provide.
Which brings us to a close for today (gotta get some work done) But I will try to write more soon!!!
[;o)
WHAT should Small Group leader's know??
Kind of a loaded question, but I hope in my ramblings about life and ministry experience, I can give a bit of an answer that is useful.
IF I have learned one thing in life and ministry it is this...
1. Ministers/Leaders MUST be & learn to be servants first!
You see in the new testament church, there came a point when certain widows were being overlooked. This wasn't an intentional thing, but the "12" were so busy serving and trying to keep everyone going in the right direction (and there were so many new ones daily) that they couldn't do it all anymore, at that point there arose a need for others to be "Appointed" to the role of serving! - These men weren't the holiest looking, and they didn't always say the right thing - BUT they were "known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom" (acts 6:3)
This is one of these times in the theological world known as the "Law of First Reference" and VERY IMPORTANT in church leadership. This is the first place in the New Testament Church where we clearly see the appointing of church leaders other than the "Primary Leader(s)" and what are they?? Servants!! Appointed Servants!
***caution - personal commentary content here ***
I think this particular point has been missing in the church at large for
a long time. You see the world has a view of the church as anything but
a serving organization... Leaders fall into the place of being "Spiritual Money
Launderers" because they have been put into leadership based on how they look,
what they say, or what Seminary they attended, and NOT because they were FIRST
appointed as servants b/c they were "Full of the spirit and Wisdom"!
IF small group leaders (or any leader for that matter) can learn THIS first... Operating as a servant regardless if title, position, or anyone even knowing their name--- they will be on the road to becoming GREAT in the kingdom!
That's just the beginning --- Serving never stops!
2. Leaders MUST learn to put others FIRST!
This one can be affected tremendously by the personality of the individual, but I will try to talk through some of that as well.
What does it mean to put other's first? Well, let's start with Zacchaeus ....
When learning to be & become a better leader, it is important that we take our cues from the best leaders of the bible, starting with the "Mac" of all leaders -- Jesus. With this particular story we see Jesus walking down the street amongst a large crowd, when things take a bit of a turn...
The bible doesn't say much about zacchaeus other than he was THE chief tax collector and was wealthy... it also goes on to say (Luke 19:1-3) He wanted to see who Jesus was, but being a short man he could not, because of the crowd. --
Here is a very interesting point... He wanted to see "Who Jesus Was" -- Nothing more. He wasn't looking for a miracle, or healing... He wasn't looking for the key to life... the universe... and everything (42) ... He wasn't looking for the spiritual existentialism that most would die for... He simply wanted to see who Jesus was!
Next up is where we very clearly see "Who Jesus Is" in this light. What does Jesus do?? Sees him, and says... "Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today."
You see as an effective leader we MUST learn to put others needs above our own, or above our expectation of their needs... I will say this at the risk of upsetting a lot of more traditional church "leaders" but sometimes what the people really need is NOT another event, NOT a bible study, NOT a great band on Sunday... what they need is a REAL, PERSONAL, and DEFINABLE connection and experience with the LIVING God!!! Can You SEE THAT!!! That is HUGE as a leader! People really need GOD more than they need YOU... but we are here to be used by God to be that connection sometimes, and more importantly to point people to God, then get out of the way!
I promise you ... 5 min experiencing the true and LIVING God can change your life more, and leave you happier than 1000 sermons I can give and weeks/months/years of counseling I could provide.
***caution - personal commentary content here ***
I have seen time and time again, leaders miss this by thinking THEY are what is going to change the people. Take for instance... worship service, someone engaged in worship, you can see that God is working on/in them... so what do I do ... Well I need to Help God Out" so I put my hands on them and begin to pray......... WOAH!!!!! Back That Up!!!!! Since WHEN does God need us to "Help Him Out" when he is clearly working without us in that situation??? .... Here's what happens... As soon as I/YOU/WE decide to put our hands on someone who 1 has not asked, or 2 is in a place where God is working and they are oblivious to their surroundings... we immediately call attention to ourselves, and take their focus off from God and put on US... I am NOT that big to be a proxy for God!!! Sorry, Won't do it!!! I am here to point people TO God, then get out of the way, not stand there and translate.
Which brings us to a close for today (gotta get some work done) But I will try to write more soon!!!
[;o)
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Dogs don't get DST
DST - Daylight Savings Time, it's like the FDIC for the Sun!
I learned a very interesting thing this morning, it's that Dogs, really don't get DST. Why? Well probably has something to do with the fact that 1. they don't work for a living (except at being cute), 2. they don't have an alarm clock (other than my really loud one) and 3. DST is a man-made boundary used to help us (being all farmers that we are) have a more productive day-cycle.
This morning at @ 5:45 our littlest, strider, starts a whining... Whatever could be wrong??? Well He had to perform his usual early morning ritual.... you know the same one we all perform every morning-- A cup of coffee and readin the morning paper [;o)
So I went ahead and got up to let him out (to go get the paper) and started getting ready myself. On the way to MY usual ritual (Which really did involve a cup of coffee this time) I started thinking about DST, and the effect on dogs.... which is what brings us here.
In my thinking I realized that Dogs are not bound by the pressures of our lives. Sure they have their own problems to deal with... like should I stay laying here, or go bark at a bug in the window sill... or which squeaky toy will be the best for the mood i am in at this moment, was that a car??(yes i think my dogs are as add as I am)But they don't deal with the stress that we all put ourselves under every day. They are pretty easy to adapt, given a little time, and are pretty good about doing the same things over and over and over.
If I were to look for a spiritual point in all of this it would be this (to paraphrase in the Tim H style)
Matthew 6:26 (loose) Look at the Chihuahua's and terriers, they don't work for a living trading stocks, and building things with their hands, yet when their food bowls are empty, are they not shortly thereafter filled again? We take care of them, does not our heavenly father also take care of us?
Point being, I think sometimes we need to slow down a bit and jump up into air daddy's laps and wag our tails (you get what i mean) We just need to enjoy God, not spend so much time worrying about being on time to that meeting that you really don't have to be at but you really do want to impress your boss so you might get noticed and get a bigger piece of cake at the next office birthday party (and YES I have worked in a cubicle). Enjoy GOD!
I think if we can learn to do that, then when the urges come to help others, or spend time with those in need we will be ready!
that's my thoughts and I'm stickin to em!
I learned a very interesting thing this morning, it's that Dogs, really don't get DST. Why? Well probably has something to do with the fact that 1. they don't work for a living (except at being cute), 2. they don't have an alarm clock (other than my really loud one) and 3. DST is a man-made boundary used to help us (being all farmers that we are) have a more productive day-cycle.
This morning at @ 5:45 our littlest, strider, starts a whining... Whatever could be wrong??? Well He had to perform his usual early morning ritual.... you know the same one we all perform every morning-- A cup of coffee and readin the morning paper [;o)
So I went ahead and got up to let him out (to go get the paper) and started getting ready myself. On the way to MY usual ritual (Which really did involve a cup of coffee this time) I started thinking about DST, and the effect on dogs.... which is what brings us here.
In my thinking I realized that Dogs are not bound by the pressures of our lives. Sure they have their own problems to deal with... like should I stay laying here, or go bark at a bug in the window sill... or which squeaky toy will be the best for the mood i am in at this moment, was that a car??(yes i think my dogs are as add as I am)But they don't deal with the stress that we all put ourselves under every day. They are pretty easy to adapt, given a little time, and are pretty good about doing the same things over and over and over.
If I were to look for a spiritual point in all of this it would be this (to paraphrase in the Tim H style)
Matthew 6:26 (loose) Look at the Chihuahua's and terriers, they don't work for a living trading stocks, and building things with their hands, yet when their food bowls are empty, are they not shortly thereafter filled again? We take care of them, does not our heavenly father also take care of us?
Point being, I think sometimes we need to slow down a bit and jump up into air daddy's laps and wag our tails (you get what i mean) We just need to enjoy God, not spend so much time worrying about being on time to that meeting that you really don't have to be at but you really do want to impress your boss so you might get noticed and get a bigger piece of cake at the next office birthday party (and YES I have worked in a cubicle). Enjoy GOD!
I think if we can learn to do that, then when the urges come to help others, or spend time with those in need we will be ready!
that's my thoughts and I'm stickin to em!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Weekend In Review! (for Tim B.)
This weekend at LifeCC Was AWESOME!!!
Just to recap (For those that were not there, or out of town... say in the mountains of western NC or something like that)
Sunday Morning (this morning) was a GREAT Success. Everyone was there ready to go with smiles on! Worship was good, and the teaching this week by Dick Teed (listen online)was RIGHT On Target and Much needed for today!
Thanks to all who made it and all who served today. Such a joy to be a part of a team that works, worships, and plays together!!! YOU GUYS ROCK!!
out
Just to recap (For those that were not there, or out of town... say in the mountains of western NC or something like that)
Sunday Morning (this morning) was a GREAT Success. Everyone was there ready to go with smiles on! Worship was good, and the teaching this week by Dick Teed (listen online)was RIGHT On Target and Much needed for today!
Thanks to all who made it and all who served today. Such a joy to be a part of a team that works, worships, and plays together!!! YOU GUYS ROCK!!
out
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Depressed??
Interesting thought for the day.....
I was on my way to work today, stressed about an issue I am having with some computer problems... didn't sleep much last night (as usual) as I am working through a problem. When I got to work, I realized that my stomach was all a fizz over this stress, and it hit me....
My priorities are NOT In the right place. I remember lying in bed this morning with the news going on and on about the financial crisis etc. so on and so forth...... and all I can think about is this computer issue.
I have had quite a few conversations surrounding this financial situation, and all of them involve me saying that there is nothing to really stress about. We have been through a recession before and besides that, I KNOW that God will take care of us, because he has seen us through some pretty wicked times already.... we will snap back, but until then we just need to relax and trust God . - And Here I am .... The Pot calling the Kettle "Cast Iron". Am I stressed about the financial situation and the state of the global economy.... NO instead I am stressed about 3lbs of Metal that would make a GREAT Paperweight one day, WHAT's That about???
Instead of focusing on God, I traded one stressful situation for another!
So all that to say.... I gotta get and keep my priorities straight!! God First, Wife and Dogs Second, Ministry Third... and Computers and the Economy LAST!!!
nuff said, time to walk it!
I'm Out
I was on my way to work today, stressed about an issue I am having with some computer problems... didn't sleep much last night (as usual) as I am working through a problem. When I got to work, I realized that my stomach was all a fizz over this stress, and it hit me....
My priorities are NOT In the right place. I remember lying in bed this morning with the news going on and on about the financial crisis etc. so on and so forth...... and all I can think about is this computer issue.
I have had quite a few conversations surrounding this financial situation, and all of them involve me saying that there is nothing to really stress about. We have been through a recession before and besides that, I KNOW that God will take care of us, because he has seen us through some pretty wicked times already.... we will snap back, but until then we just need to relax and trust God . - And Here I am .... The Pot calling the Kettle "Cast Iron". Am I stressed about the financial situation and the state of the global economy.... NO instead I am stressed about 3lbs of Metal that would make a GREAT Paperweight one day, WHAT's That about???
Instead of focusing on God, I traded one stressful situation for another!
So all that to say.... I gotta get and keep my priorities straight!! God First, Wife and Dogs Second, Ministry Third... and Computers and the Economy LAST!!!
nuff said, time to walk it!
I'm Out
Friday, August 29, 2008
Growing - The Conclusion part4
To Wrap up this particular discussion, I want to recap a few questions asked
- What does a "Healthy" church Look Like?
- What does a "Growing Church" look like?
- What does an "Effective" church look like?
In MY opinion, knowing that's all it ever is (an opinion)
A Healthy church is one that is always pointing people to Christ. Looks for opportunities to serve within their means and genuinely wants people to come to know Christ, their motivation for ministry is NOT the numbers, the bottom dollar, or how "Everyone Else" is doing it, but based on the call of God for that particular ministry.
A Growing Church, is typically defined by the numbers, and allot of emphasis is spent on parking, and crowd control if you will in relation to just moving the large numbers through the system. Most systems in this type of church seem to be focused on the event and not necessarily the people.... just by virtue of numbers there will always be a large crowd at any event... Although these are not all bad things, where it can be bad is when "The Event" is all there is.
An Effective church is one that has a mission, a purpose and a goal and will accomplish that weather or not anyone shows up to help. These types of churches are generally characterized by their Programs, and their focus on a few direct projects.
So what does it all mean here???
What type of church are you?? what type of church are we??
Ultimately I think it is important to constantly evaluate and find a balance between all three types of churches
I want us to be a Healthy, Growing, and Effective church!!! And that's what we are!!!!!
I'm just sayin!!!
[;o)
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Still Growing....... part 3
As I continue, since my last post I have had no less than 5 conversations specifically surrounding this topic. I am amazed at how much emphasis is on this topic, and how little true direction can be found in the bible regarding church growth.
Let me expound on a few things if I could.
The bible says in Psalm 127:1 Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain.
It also says in Acts 2:47
Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart,
Act 2:47 ...praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved.
Unless I'm wrong, which, you know, I'm not... The focus throughout the word of God was never on the number of people.... instead the focus was on the heart of the people and their actions toward others....
a few examples -
Let me expound on a few things if I could.
The bible says in Psalm 127:1 Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain.
It also says in Acts 2:47
Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart,
Act 2:47 ...praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved.
Unless I'm wrong, which, you know, I'm not... The focus throughout the word of God was never on the number of people.... instead the focus was on the heart of the people and their actions toward others....
a few examples -
- David and Goliath, the masses against the children of Israel, saved by one man with a heart toward God
- Isaiah (1:13) Phophesied, the incense of the children of Israel was an abomination to God, because their HEARTS weren't there
- Never once did Jesus ask peter if he had met His "Fish" quota, nor how many "Fish" he had caught
These are just a few other examples.... many many more, but I won't continue, because - even though God didn't expressly talk about numbers doesn't mean that we are foolish if we do! We are each responsible for what God has given us, to some it is a multitude, to others it's just a few loaves and a couple of fish. The important thing is that we are pointing others to the important thing----- GOD and Him Alone.
So what does that mean????
To take my clues from (yet again) the "WORD" - "To one he gave five talents, to another, two, and to another, one, each according to his own ability; and he went on his journey.
How many talents have you/I been given, and what are we going to do with it? Add to it, do the best we can with what we got? or do we look at the person that has more talents and strive to be like them???
Last thought for now (I will have more later) Romans 9:21 - does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for common use?
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Growing Boy .... part 2
Yesterday, I left you with this thought;
How good, or how healthy you are has absolutely NOTHING to do with what tools you have to work with, or how much of something you have.
To continue.....
Over the last couple of years, I have been faced with numerous personal, and professional questions related to church growth. I had a friend of mine state "You cannot have an effective, relational church with more than 1000 people". This has always bothered me. I have never been one to focus on the numbers in church, but have always liked and wanted to be a part of a large thriving church.... which is where this blog comes from. As I have been searching, watching and asking.... a couple of questions have come to my mind
1. What does a "Healthy" church Look Like?
2. What does a "Growing Church" look like?
3. What does an "Effective" church look like?
I have spent a lot of time talking with friends in ministry about the differences in different churches and their individual ministry styles. Most of the discussion revolves around the juxtaposition of the "Seeker" (SE) and "Spirit-Led"(SL) church models. I have always been apart of the "Spirit-Led" model. One of the most talked about points, which I will expound on, is the issue of "The Numbers" i.e, how many people are attending the church in question.
I have heard ministers in the "SL" model talk about numbers from the perspective of ... "It's not about the numbers.... but how effective you are at ministry that counts"
At the same time ministries from the "SE" model say "We are healthy, and therefore can reach more people effectively"
Please be aware, that Our church, though leaning more toward the "SL" side of ministry, is still growing very well, and is no way the reason I am discussing this topic
Let me start by saying this..... Bigger doesn't mean better, nor does smaller mean more "Relational".
As I look at this discussion, I see that it is more or less like debating the health benefits of Pepsi vs. a piece of chocolate cake.... pointless. Ministry is and should be about one thing and one thing ONLY. Bringing people to a better understanding of Christ! How do you do that??? The options are endless, but that is not what this particular blog is about.
I think it's time the church stop looking at numbers to justify how well they are doing, and look at the heart of the ministry....
Are people coming to a better understanding of Christ?? YES?? Then you are doing well!!! The rest is just details.
But while I am on it, let's talk about the details for a moment.
1. Size - Say you aren't growing in numbers.... does that mean you have stagnated? well maybe... but I think a better question to ask would be.... why aren't people coming? your particular theology? Style? "Relational-ness" or lack thereof? If you can seriously ask these questions... and hear the answer (Weather or not you agree with it) I believe it will speak volumes as to your health as a ministry and effectiveness.
At the same time... If you are growing in leaps and bounds, are you healthy??
well... again, I think the same questions need to be asked.... Just because people are flocking to you, doesn't necessarily mean you are healthy.... you may just be more popular! Why are people flocking? Because you have a great band, great theology? or because it is easy and non-confrontational? or because it feels good??
No matter what size you are, or what state of growth, you need to ask these type of questions so you can really know if you are healthy. Growing up, I was a BIG Kid, and it wasn't till later in life I found out I was NOT Healthy... just big! Now I am trying to get healthy
That's all for today.... more to follow
How good, or how healthy you are has absolutely NOTHING to do with what tools you have to work with, or how much of something you have.
To continue.....
Over the last couple of years, I have been faced with numerous personal, and professional questions related to church growth. I had a friend of mine state "You cannot have an effective, relational church with more than 1000 people". This has always bothered me. I have never been one to focus on the numbers in church, but have always liked and wanted to be a part of a large thriving church.... which is where this blog comes from. As I have been searching, watching and asking.... a couple of questions have come to my mind
1. What does a "Healthy" church Look Like?
2. What does a "Growing Church" look like?
3. What does an "Effective" church look like?
I have spent a lot of time talking with friends in ministry about the differences in different churches and their individual ministry styles. Most of the discussion revolves around the juxtaposition of the "Seeker" (SE) and "Spirit-Led"(SL) church models. I have always been apart of the "Spirit-Led" model. One of the most talked about points, which I will expound on, is the issue of "The Numbers" i.e, how many people are attending the church in question.
I have heard ministers in the "SL" model talk about numbers from the perspective of ... "It's not about the numbers.... but how effective you are at ministry that counts"
At the same time ministries from the "SE" model say "We are healthy, and therefore can reach more people effectively"
Let me start by saying this..... Bigger doesn't mean better, nor does smaller mean more "Relational".
As I look at this discussion, I see that it is more or less like debating the health benefits of Pepsi vs. a piece of chocolate cake.... pointless. Ministry is and should be about one thing and one thing ONLY. Bringing people to a better understanding of Christ! How do you do that??? The options are endless, but that is not what this particular blog is about.
I think it's time the church stop looking at numbers to justify how well they are doing, and look at the heart of the ministry....
Are people coming to a better understanding of Christ?? YES?? Then you are doing well!!! The rest is just details.
But while I am on it, let's talk about the details for a moment.
1. Size - Say you aren't growing in numbers.... does that mean you have stagnated? well maybe... but I think a better question to ask would be.... why aren't people coming? your particular theology? Style? "Relational-ness" or lack thereof? If you can seriously ask these questions... and hear the answer (Weather or not you agree with it) I believe it will speak volumes as to your health as a ministry and effectiveness.
At the same time... If you are growing in leaps and bounds, are you healthy??
well... again, I think the same questions need to be asked.... Just because people are flocking to you, doesn't necessarily mean you are healthy.... you may just be more popular! Why are people flocking? Because you have a great band, great theology? or because it is easy and non-confrontational? or because it feels good??
No matter what size you are, or what state of growth, you need to ask these type of questions so you can really know if you are healthy. Growing up, I was a BIG Kid, and it wasn't till later in life I found out I was NOT Healthy... just big! Now I am trying to get healthy
That's all for today.... more to follow
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Let Em have another piece of cake... he's a growing boy!
I used to LOVE going to grandma and grandpa's house when I was a kid. It was phrases like "He's a Growing Boy" that would allow me to indulge and get pretty much whatever I wanted out of my grandparents. Unfortunately, it also led to the whole overweight and food allergy problem. Not that it was their (or anyone but mine) fault.... but what I was learning was that Growth was based on getting. I remember getting ready to go into the sixth grade. My sister had been playing the flute for two years, and I wanted to join the band.... My parents didn't have much money at the time, so they gave me a trumpet that had been sitting in storage for about 20 years.
Before I go too far, let me tell you about this trumpet..... When I got the trumpet, I remember the first thing I noticed was the smell. It was fairly pungent and had sort of an acrid overtone.... later I was to learn that is what happens when you mix brass and mold-- ie not pretty! The tuning slide had not been moved or oiled in at least the 20 years it had been sitting around, and had magically welded itself in place (Something else i learned WAS possible without a welder). The case was brown with a brown leather trim on the edges and the inside looked like orange velvet (that used to be red). I was NEVER Prouder in my LIFE!!! This was MY trumpet.... I had my own instrument, and was beginning to walk down the path to be my own person, with my own unique identity (and a crappy fallin apart trumpet that you couldn't tune if your life depended on it.... luckily we didn't live in jersey and weren't related to the mafia... but I digress).
I began the sixth grade ready to succeed with the words of my parents ringing in my ears.... "We give him 2 weeks and he will quit". What motivation! They weren't expecting me to fail, but up till that point in life, I hadn't showed real interest in much of anything.Let me tell you though... I was PROUD of my trumpet! I began band learning all I needed to know to succeed. Everyone else in the band was in the same place as I was... just beginning.... most of the other kids had rental horns, or hand me downs..... until...... DUN DUN Dahhhh (Dramatic music).... HERBIE!
Herbie, was a good friend, we hung out and goofed around in class. When He started in band he was playing the rented horn.... not a big deal. We were all learning the basics, technique, what it means to have "Tone" etc.etc. I was rapidly excelling and at this point in the game, I had learned how to tune my trumpet just by how I played (I had no other options unfortunately) and was doing very well. Ended up in first chair by the end of the first semester, and stayed there till I stopped taking band in the 11th grade. About halfway through the first year, Herbie came into class with an unusually large grin on his face.... something had changed..... he put his case down, and put on white gloves.....?????? What???? We were all confused, thinking he may have just joined a cult..... opened up his case and pulled out his trumpet...... WOW!!!! A Bright light hit us all and nearly blinded us in the glory that was Herbie's SILVER Trumpet!!!!!
Now This was not just any silver trumpet.... but a BACH Stradivarius.... $1500 piece or shiny trumpet! I just KNEW that at that moment... I had lost first chair... Herbie just won! He had the prettiest trumpet I had ever seen.... not only did all of his valves and slides work, and work well, but I had NEVER seen a trumpet without a dent. He even had a little leather valve guard.... man he had it all!!! I would had been jealous, but I was so confused as to how it was possible to have such a machine! Then Herbie began to play........
Herbie, if you happen across this post, please don't think ill of me.....
Herbie wasn't first chair, but at the same time Herbie wasn't last chair either. I think the guy that was last chair didn't even come to the school.... we always saw him on days there was a special event or field trip.... and I think he was 35 repeating the 6th grade.... not sure though. Herbie sat next to that guy. He was usually 3rd or 4th trumpet, and at one point when there was a lice epidemic going around I think Herbie made it all the way up to second chair next to me. As he began to play, I was amazed yet again. I didn't know that it was possible for a trumpet so beautiful that it brought a tear to your eye just looking at it, could sound so bad that it would make a goose fly north for the winter just to put itself out of its misery!!!
(This is the part of the blog where I get to the point)
I learned a very valuable lesson that day.... How good you are has absolutely NOTHING to do with what tools you have to work with, or how much of something you have. This is something that I wish I had to put to practice a bit more growing up... but a good revelation none-the-less.
This lesson has come full circle in the last few years, to be one of the most powerfull guiding line for my life and ministry... in my next post, I will go into more detail as to how and why.... but for now I leave you with this....
How good, or how healthy you are has absolutely NOTHING to do with what tools you have to work with, or how much of something you have.
Before I go too far, let me tell you about this trumpet..... When I got the trumpet, I remember the first thing I noticed was the smell. It was fairly pungent and had sort of an acrid overtone.... later I was to learn that is what happens when you mix brass and mold-- ie not pretty! The tuning slide had not been moved or oiled in at least the 20 years it had been sitting around, and had magically welded itself in place (Something else i learned WAS possible without a welder). The case was brown with a brown leather trim on the edges and the inside looked like orange velvet (that used to be red). I was NEVER Prouder in my LIFE!!! This was MY trumpet.... I had my own instrument, and was beginning to walk down the path to be my own person, with my own unique identity (and a crappy fallin apart trumpet that you couldn't tune if your life depended on it.... luckily we didn't live in jersey and weren't related to the mafia... but I digress).
I began the sixth grade ready to succeed with the words of my parents ringing in my ears.... "We give him 2 weeks and he will quit". What motivation! They weren't expecting me to fail, but up till that point in life, I hadn't showed real interest in much of anything.Let me tell you though... I was PROUD of my trumpet! I began band learning all I needed to know to succeed. Everyone else in the band was in the same place as I was... just beginning.... most of the other kids had rental horns, or hand me downs..... until...... DUN DUN Dahhhh (Dramatic music).... HERBIE!
Herbie, was a good friend, we hung out and goofed around in class. When He started in band he was playing the rented horn.... not a big deal. We were all learning the basics, technique, what it means to have "Tone" etc.etc. I was rapidly excelling and at this point in the game, I had learned how to tune my trumpet just by how I played (I had no other options unfortunately) and was doing very well. Ended up in first chair by the end of the first semester, and stayed there till I stopped taking band in the 11th grade. About halfway through the first year, Herbie came into class with an unusually large grin on his face.... something had changed..... he put his case down, and put on white gloves.....?????? What???? We were all confused, thinking he may have just joined a cult..... opened up his case and pulled out his trumpet...... WOW!!!! A Bright light hit us all and nearly blinded us in the glory that was Herbie's SILVER Trumpet!!!!!
Now This was not just any silver trumpet.... but a BACH Stradivarius.... $1500 piece or shiny trumpet! I just KNEW that at that moment... I had lost first chair... Herbie just won! He had the prettiest trumpet I had ever seen.... not only did all of his valves and slides work, and work well, but I had NEVER seen a trumpet without a dent. He even had a little leather valve guard.... man he had it all!!! I would had been jealous, but I was so confused as to how it was possible to have such a machine! Then Herbie began to play........
Herbie, if you happen across this post, please don't think ill of me.....
Herbie wasn't first chair, but at the same time Herbie wasn't last chair either. I think the guy that was last chair didn't even come to the school.... we always saw him on days there was a special event or field trip.... and I think he was 35 repeating the 6th grade.... not sure though. Herbie sat next to that guy. He was usually 3rd or 4th trumpet, and at one point when there was a lice epidemic going around I think Herbie made it all the way up to second chair next to me. As he began to play, I was amazed yet again. I didn't know that it was possible for a trumpet so beautiful that it brought a tear to your eye just looking at it, could sound so bad that it would make a goose fly north for the winter just to put itself out of its misery!!!
(This is the part of the blog where I get to the point)
I learned a very valuable lesson that day.... How good you are has absolutely NOTHING to do with what tools you have to work with, or how much of something you have. This is something that I wish I had to put to practice a bit more growing up... but a good revelation none-the-less.
This lesson has come full circle in the last few years, to be one of the most powerfull guiding line for my life and ministry... in my next post, I will go into more detail as to how and why.... but for now I leave you with this....
How good, or how healthy you are has absolutely NOTHING to do with what tools you have to work with, or how much of something you have.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Knowing Fear
I have never been much of a "Dreamer" when it comes to sleep. Growing up I can remember a handful of times where I even remember dreaming, and most of them had some sort of personal meaning. I found out a couple of years ago, this was due to having a form of sleep apnea caused by a small trachea and a condition called "momentary leg movements". All that means is that my body was waking me up once every 5min at night when I was trying to sleep.
Anyway... I have since rectified these issues and now have a breathing machine that helps me sleep... But, I still don't dream often. Now probably dream (or at least remember dreaming) 1-2x a week not much else. Last night, before bed, I was working on re-constructing a raid array so I could retrieve some files. I have a tendency at night, when I do dream, to work on puzzles of a sort. Usually my dreams involve working through logic puzzles, coding, and any "Technical" issues I may encounter during the week. I remember beginning to dream last night, in my dream I was re-constructing a raid array so I could retrieve some files (sound familiar), when all I remember is a wash of fear over me and bolting straight out of bed to the sound of our fire alarm.
10seconds doesn't seem like a very long time, unless you are in the middle of a crisis. I remember in that short, very short amount of time from becoming alert to the time I stood up a whole slew of emotions and thoughts. First, was fear. Not the kind of fear where you can see what is happening but can't do anything about it-- like the dreams where you stand in front of a class in your underwear but can't do anything about it. This was a different kind of fear... one I don't every want to experience again.
The fear of the unknown!
This fear I experienced was of the unknown.
The second Thing I realized was, I couldn't talk. I tried to call out to my wife, but I couldn't make words form... I could barely make any noise. Talk about freaky! Everything had happened so fast, my body hadn't had time to respond yet... but my brain was going full blast!
Mind you at this point my adrenaline had kicked into overdrive... ready to act, and to respond... but my brain didn't know what to respond to and my body was still taking a ciesta.
FINALLY after about 10-15 seconds, I was able to mouth the words to my wife... IT's OK, It's OK! Of all the things to say, why that??? How about What in the world is going on??
Thinking back on it, I realize that my brain had already determined that we were in no immediate danger. How Strange! I got out of bed and headed through the house to check on everything, by the time I stepped out into the living room, I felt like I was going to throw up! I felt like I had run for 40 miles (or in my case 1mile straight). I walked through the house and made sure everything was ok, and got the ladder out to "FIX" the Malfunctioning Alarm. I had to lay back down just to catch my breath and keep from puking it was so nerve-wracking. Once that was done and Eliza had gone back to bed I went into my office to sit and think a bit. I started thinking through what had just transpired, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.... I HAVE GOD ON MY SIDE!!! You see, I know this, and have for years... but these situations bring you closer to knowing who you trust than anything else! I spent some time praying and "re-centering" my self before I went back to bed.
I have God... what does that mean to me?? It means that in every unknown situation and circumstance, there is someone on my side that can see around the corner. Ipso-facto Nothing is unknown... just not experienced!
Does this mean I shouldn't be afraid.... well yes, I shouldn't.... however God also created me with certain innate reactions, like flinching when I touch a hot stove. Fear, Panic, and Terror, are most times reactions of the body to given stimulus, or an expectation of stimulus. Take MONK for example... even His fears, as irrational as they may seem to you and me, are caused by stimulus, or an expectation of stimulus.... germs, paper cuts, bad milk etc. (ok so I still can't figure out the crack thing unless it goes with the "Break your mothers back" thing).
Point is this...
Fear is natural, How you respond to fear.... give in and allow it to control you, or walk with wisdom and trust in God... is what matters most.
C.S.Lewis said, in "The Inner Ring"
Until you conquer the fear of being an outsider, an outsider you will remain.
If you give into the fear, it will be all you are left with in the end... fear
But if you conquer fear, through Christ, you will be victorious
Anyway... I have since rectified these issues and now have a breathing machine that helps me sleep... But, I still don't dream often. Now probably dream (or at least remember dreaming) 1-2x a week not much else. Last night, before bed, I was working on re-constructing a raid array so I could retrieve some files. I have a tendency at night, when I do dream, to work on puzzles of a sort. Usually my dreams involve working through logic puzzles, coding, and any "Technical" issues I may encounter during the week. I remember beginning to dream last night, in my dream I was re-constructing a raid array so I could retrieve some files (sound familiar), when all I remember is a wash of fear over me and bolting straight out of bed to the sound of our fire alarm.
10seconds doesn't seem like a very long time, unless you are in the middle of a crisis. I remember in that short, very short amount of time from becoming alert to the time I stood up a whole slew of emotions and thoughts. First, was fear. Not the kind of fear where you can see what is happening but can't do anything about it-- like the dreams where you stand in front of a class in your underwear but can't do anything about it. This was a different kind of fear... one I don't every want to experience again.
The fear of the unknown!
This fear I experienced was of the unknown.
- I had NO Clue as to why I bolted straight out of bed
- I had No idea what the sound was that I was hearing so quickly
- I had no idea what to do or how to act in this situation
The second Thing I realized was, I couldn't talk. I tried to call out to my wife, but I couldn't make words form... I could barely make any noise. Talk about freaky! Everything had happened so fast, my body hadn't had time to respond yet... but my brain was going full blast!
Mind you at this point my adrenaline had kicked into overdrive... ready to act, and to respond... but my brain didn't know what to respond to and my body was still taking a ciesta.
FINALLY after about 10-15 seconds, I was able to mouth the words to my wife... IT's OK, It's OK! Of all the things to say, why that??? How about What in the world is going on??
Thinking back on it, I realize that my brain had already determined that we were in no immediate danger. How Strange! I got out of bed and headed through the house to check on everything, by the time I stepped out into the living room, I felt like I was going to throw up! I felt like I had run for 40 miles (or in my case 1mile straight). I walked through the house and made sure everything was ok, and got the ladder out to "FIX" the Malfunctioning Alarm. I had to lay back down just to catch my breath and keep from puking it was so nerve-wracking. Once that was done and Eliza had gone back to bed I went into my office to sit and think a bit. I started thinking through what had just transpired, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.... I HAVE GOD ON MY SIDE!!! You see, I know this, and have for years... but these situations bring you closer to knowing who you trust than anything else! I spent some time praying and "re-centering" my self before I went back to bed.
I have God... what does that mean to me?? It means that in every unknown situation and circumstance, there is someone on my side that can see around the corner. Ipso-facto Nothing is unknown... just not experienced!
Does this mean I shouldn't be afraid.... well yes, I shouldn't.... however God also created me with certain innate reactions, like flinching when I touch a hot stove. Fear, Panic, and Terror, are most times reactions of the body to given stimulus, or an expectation of stimulus. Take MONK for example... even His fears, as irrational as they may seem to you and me, are caused by stimulus, or an expectation of stimulus.... germs, paper cuts, bad milk etc. (ok so I still can't figure out the crack thing unless it goes with the "Break your mothers back" thing).
Point is this...
Fear is natural, How you respond to fear.... give in and allow it to control you, or walk with wisdom and trust in God... is what matters most.
C.S.Lewis said, in "The Inner Ring"
Until you conquer the fear of being an outsider, an outsider you will remain.
If you give into the fear, it will be all you are left with in the end... fear
But if you conquer fear, through Christ, you will be victorious
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