What Every (small group) Leader Should Know - pt. 2

Instant Recap:
1. Ministers/Leaders MUST be & learn to be servants first!
2. Leaders MUST learn to put others FIRST!

Ok, Now you are caught up... no excuses!

The focus of this particular post will be about more of the mechanics of doing ministry, than the spiritual focus of the last post.

3. Crisis Management!

First off, and I can't stress this enough.... for a good leader, learning crisis management is a GOLDMINE for leading... NO Matter WHAT, or WHO you are leading!!!

I heard Miles Monroe say one time that when God put Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, he told them to develop people (be fruitful) and Manage (tend) the "Things" of the garden. This is a very key point in learning to be a good and GREAT leader!

YOU MUST understand that in any leadership situation, you MUST... I REPEAT MUST separate people from their stuff!!! People, in general are all in need of the same thing, healthy relationship with God as well as each other. This is wonderful news if you can see that and that alone... The problem seems to be that most leaders will spend 90% of their time dealing with people's stuff, and not in relationship with the people... To use a illustration I used in the last post... Zacchaeus

You see, Zacchaeus was, in his time, what was called the "Chief" tax collector..... Think about that for a second... EVEN the bible refers to Him by what he manages... NOT who he is!

Along comes Jesus...

Jesus saw him in the tree and immediately saw through his stuff to who he was and what HE needed... relationship! He did not see him as his contemporaries did.... a cheat, a swindler, a thief..... in today's world think "Chief Politician".

What does this have to do with Crisis Management?? EVERYTHING!!!!!

IF You can successfully separate people from their stuff, you will alleviate and successfully manage crisis Situations....

You see the KEY to crisis management is to manage the situation not the people... IF you can break down what is happening from what the people really need you can be very successful as a leader of anything.

How does this pertain to small groups you ask??
Well.... here's a situation of something that WILL happen to you as a leader if you give it enough time.....

Let's talk about "Little Johnny", you know the little brat that grew up through all of the cautionary life tales of how to NOT act and what to NOT do. Well.... BAD News, Little johnny, grew up and is now big Johnny, and he got invited to your small group!!!

Big Johnny isn't exactly mean, but he is what we will refer to as "Spiritually Combative"... He is now the guy that is ALWAYS trying to prove how much more he knows than you and how contradictory everything you say about God is.... THIS is a CRISIS, that needs some serious Management!!!!!!!

So what do we do??

First you have to look at the real root of what is going on. You see, Johnny always got in trouble, and his whole life was spent feeling like the world was against HIM because of his actions. YES they did come against HIM but only because they didn't understand how to separate the actions. So now that he is all grown up, he still carries with him this self image of having to prove himself to everyone around him!

How do you deal with that???
First and foremost this is dealt with by having strong and healthy boundaries for any meeting/interaction you have as a leader... They can be as simple as "We are going to talk tonight about....bla, bla..... Please hold any comments till I open the floor for discussions".
Another option (and one I have found very helpful for dealing with a bunch of kids with ADD)
-- Explain the "ground rules" that any comments that are made need to NOT be directed as a response to what someone else has said... Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and it should be a safe environment to share opinions openly.

What setting these ground rules, does is give you the power to stop any arguments, or issues that can arise from people like Johnny... by simply going back to the ground rules, and not putting down the person.... "Please keep in mind johnny, that we are all entitled to our opinions and any comments should not be directed toward someone else because of their opinions".
IF Johnny continues to disrupt, it is a simple matter of taking a break and asking johnny to go to another room (out of earshot of the group) ans simply stating that IF Johnny continues to go against the rules, you will have to ask him to leave. End of discussion!!

In most situations as a leader, rarely will you find your self dealing with a "Physical" crisis, the majority will be these "Emotional" issues and situations.

It is a good thing for leaders to practice dealing with different scenario's... I will give you a few...

1. Johnny, decides he is going to use the time in the meeting to talk about 'Amway' and how it has changed HIS life

2. Someone in the group begins to talk about God and how "SHE" changed her life by leading her to a commune outside of town where she can TRULY be free

3. IN the discussion, you come to a topic of abortion... one of the people in the room has had an abortion, and is in a very emotional state, during the time, she breaks down and starts sobbing uncontrollably.

4. You find out at one meeting that someone is a homosexual.

In each of these examples, IF you can see beyond the issues to the person, you will find the same thing... someone who is in need of relationship with others... And in some cases, it is OK to refer someone to a professional counselor if they need more help than you as a leader can provide. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO FIX ANYONE!!!! Only to Love them and walk with them the best you can!

*** Very Important ***
Remember, IF there is interaction with someone that seems to require/consume the entire focus of the group, take it elsewhere (And always gender specific... guys with guys, girls with girls)
There is always more than 1 person in a group... otherwise it wouldn't be a group (duh) and it is important as a leader to remember that there are quite a few other people with needs, and if one person monopolizes the meeting, can make the others feel less important (Very BAD!!!)


*** Practical Notes From The Dark Side ***

In meetings dealing with people you may occasionally come across a doozie that requires a bit of finesse to deal with.

like...

1. Child abuse.
YOU MUST REPORT THIS TO THE POLICE!!! but be careful, and try to keep as few others in the group from knowing/talking about it as it can cause more harm in the long run than it does good. Try to set up a meeting with a superior or another "Equal" leader to help you walk through this as the more council you can get the better.

2. Spousal Abuse.
This is a bit different, you need to strongly encourage that the person leave the situation and seek help... DO NOT Confront the spouse, as this ALWAYS leads down a bad road and you may not have another chance to help them out of their situation if you do.

3. Attempted Suicide.
IF They are threatening to do harm to themselves or other you MUST REPORT THIS to the authorities!!! If they have already attempted it... remember to deal with them not their situation, they need love not judgement!! They also need someone to walk with them. NO ONE ever attempts suicide in public, or with friends... they do it when, and usually because they are alone... they NEED relationship, and healthy LOVE!!!

4. Death/Divorce... Both can be Equally as painful
This is delicate in that everyone grieves differently, but everyone that grieves, MUST be allowed to grieve in their own way (as long as it isn't causing harm to themselves or others)
Let them grieve, be there if they need you and pray for them from a distance if they don't... that's about all you can do.



I think that about covers most of what I can think of for this post, I will post lots more soon [;o)

What Every (small group) Leader Should Know - pt. 1

A question I have been pondering in my mind recently (since a recent meeting with my pastor) is ...
WHAT should Small Group leader's know??

Kind of a loaded question, but I hope in my ramblings about life and ministry experience, I can give a bit of an answer that is useful.

IF I have learned one thing in life and ministry it is this...
1. Ministers/Leaders MUST be & learn to be servants first!

You see in the new testament church, there came a point when certain widows were being overlooked. This wasn't an intentional thing, but the "12" were so busy serving and trying to keep everyone going in the right direction (and there were so many new ones daily) that they couldn't do it all anymore, at that point there arose a need for others to be "Appointed" to the role of serving! - These men weren't the holiest looking, and they didn't always say the right thing - BUT they were "known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom" (acts 6:3)
This is one of these times in the theological world known as the "Law of First Reference" and VERY IMPORTANT in church leadership. This is the first place in the New Testament Church where we clearly see the appointing of church leaders other than the "Primary Leader(s)" and what are they?? Servants!! Appointed Servants!

***caution - personal commentary content here ***
I think this particular point has been missing in the church at large for
a long time. You see the world has a view of the church as anything but
a serving organization... Leaders fall into the place of being "Spiritual Money
Launderers" because they have been put into leadership based on how they look,
what they say, or what Seminary they attended, and NOT because they were FIRST
appointed as servants b/c they were "Full of the spirit and Wisdom"!

IF small group leaders (or any leader for that matter) can learn THIS first... Operating as a servant regardless if title, position, or anyone even knowing their name--- they will be on the road to becoming GREAT in the kingdom!

That's just the beginning --- Serving never stops!

2. Leaders MUST learn to put others FIRST!

This one can be affected tremendously by the personality of the individual, but I will try to talk through some of that as well.

What does it mean to put other's first? Well, let's start with Zacchaeus ....
When learning to be & become a better leader, it is important that we take our cues from the best leaders of the bible, starting with the "Mac" of all leaders -- Jesus. With this particular story we see Jesus walking down the street amongst a large crowd, when things take a bit of a turn...
The bible doesn't say much about zacchaeus other than he was THE chief tax collector and was wealthy... it also goes on to say (Luke 19:1-3) He wanted to see who Jesus was, but being a short man he could not, because of the crowd. --
Here is a very interesting point... He wanted to see "Who Jesus Was" -- Nothing more. He wasn't looking for a miracle, or healing... He wasn't looking for the key to life... the universe... and everything (42) ... He wasn't looking for the spiritual existentialism that most would die for... He simply wanted to see who Jesus was!
Next up is where we very clearly see "Who Jesus Is" in this light. What does Jesus do?? Sees him, and says... "Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today."
You see as an effective leader we MUST learn to put others needs above our own, or above our expectation of their needs... I will say this at the risk of upsetting a lot of more traditional church "leaders" but sometimes what the people really need is NOT another event, NOT a bible study, NOT a great band on Sunday... what they need is a REAL, PERSONAL, and DEFINABLE connection and experience with the LIVING God!!! Can You SEE THAT!!! That is HUGE as a leader! People really need GOD more than they need YOU... but we are here to be used by God to be that connection sometimes, and more importantly to point people to God, then get out of the way!

I promise you ... 5 min experiencing the true and LIVING God can change your life more, and leave you happier than 1000 sermons I can give and weeks/months/years of counseling I could provide.

***caution - personal commentary content here ***
I have seen time and time again, leaders miss this by thinking THEY are what is going to change the people. Take for instance... worship service, someone engaged in worship, you can see that God is working on/in them... so what do I do ... Well I need to Help God Out" so I put my hands on them and begin to pray......... WOAH!!!!! Back That Up!!!!! Since WHEN does God need us to "Help Him Out" when he is clearly working without us in that situation??? .... Here's what happens... As soon as I/YOU/WE decide to put our hands on someone who 1 has not asked, or 2 is in a place where God is working and they are oblivious to their surroundings... we immediately call attention to ourselves, and take their focus off from God and put on US... I am NOT that big to be a proxy for God!!! Sorry, Won't do it!!! I am here to point people TO God, then get out of the way, not stand there and translate.

Which brings us to a close for today (gotta get some work done) But I will try to write more soon!!!

[;o)

The Power of the Servant

Here lately I have been working on a night of appreciation for all of our volunteers at the church. One thing I have realized more and more, is that volunteers have more power than they realize, because they are a unified group.

let me explain.
Take any organization that utilizes volunteers as a part of its infrastructure.... like for instance.... a church. On any given Sunday, who do people (either guests, or regular attenders) talk with the most? Who do they spend the most time with? The pastor? Well maybe one or two people get to dominate the pastors time, but what about everyone else??
Let's say, for example, that the newly formed "Federation of planets" has upset some distant planet of cockroach like inhabitants... and let's say they have just produced a new form of biological weapon targeting the DNA of people who serve as volunteers... and let's say that they are so outraged by the comments made from the "Federation" in relation to them and a particular kind of motel that you can check into, but can't check out, that they decide to use said weapon on us. (if you are still with me, then you are either really curious as to how I could possibly end this, or totally A.D.D., in either case, I salute you )
So here we are, No volunteers... now what?? What does the church on Sunday morning look like??
Could you imagine a pastor trying to hand out bulletins, turn on the sound system, start coffee, lead worship, run overheads, preach, watch the kids, change dirty diapers, read a story to the toddlers, all in an hour and a half???
Now I know that there may be some who read this that say... Hey, When i started the church that's pretty much what I did... and to that I say... YEP... but not for long. You see in order to have a thriving ministry that is effective, it requires a lot of people. As the ministry grows, so does the number needed to make things happen at any given time. Setup, Tear-down, Counseling, Life Groups, Children, Youth, Sound / AV, Toilet Plunging.... you name it! Point is that WE (as in pastors) NEED People, without the volunteers, our job would be impossible. SO having said that, and with the power vested in me by Life Community Church, I say
THANK YOU VOLUNTEERS!!! You all ROCK!

Growing - The Conclusion part4

To Wrap up this particular discussion, I want to recap a few questions asked

1. What does a "Healthy" church Look Like?
2. What does a "Growing Church" look like?
3. What does an "Effective" church look like?

In MY opinion, knowing that's all it ever is (an opinion)

A Healthy church is one that is always pointing people to Christ. Looks for opportunities to serve within their means and genuinely wants people to come to know Christ, their motivation for ministry is NOT the numbers, the bottom dollar, or how "Everyone Else" is doing it, but based on the call of God for that particular ministry.

A Growing Church, is typically defined by the numbers, and allot of emphasis is spent on parking, and crowd control if you will in relation to just moving the large numbers through the system. Most systems in this type of church seem to be focused on the event and not necessarily the people.... just by virtue of numbers there will always be a large crowd at any event... Although these are not all bad things, where it can be bad is when "The Event" is all there is.

An Effective church is one that has a mission, a purpose and a goal and will accomplish that weather or not anyone shows up to help. These types of churches are generally characterized by their Programs, and their focus on a few direct projects.

So what does it all mean here???

What type of church are you?? what type of church are we??

Ultimately I think it is important to constantly evaluate and find a balance between all three types of churches

I want us to be a Healthy, Growing, and Effective church!!! And that's what we are!!!!!

I'm just sayin!!!

[;o)

Still Growing....... part 3

As I continue, since my last post I have had no less than 5 conversations specifically surrounding this topic. I am amazed at how much emphasis is on this topic, and how little true direction can be found in the bible regarding church growth.
Let me expound on a few things if I could.
The bible says in Psalm 127:1 Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain.
It also says in Acts 2:47
Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart,
Act 2:47 ...praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved.

Unless I'm wrong, which, you know, I'm not... The focus throughout the word of God was never on the number of people.... instead the focus was on the heart of the people and their actions toward others....
a few examples -

1. David and Goliath, the masses against the children of Israel, saved by one man with a heart toward God
2. Isaiah (1:13) Phophesied, the incense of the children of Israel was an abomination to God, because their HEARTS weren't there
3. Never once did Jesus ask peter if he had met His "Fish" quota, nor how many "Fish" he had caught

These are just a few other examples.... many many more, but I won't continue, because - even though God didn't expressly talk about numbers doesn't mean that we are foolish if we do! We are each responsible for what God has given us, to some it is a multitude, to others it's just a few loaves and a couple of fish. The important thing is that we are pointing others to the important thing----- GOD and Him Alone.

So what does that mean????

To take my clues from (yet again) the "WORD" - "To one he gave five talents, to another, two, and to another, one, each according to his own ability; and he went on his journey.

How many talents have you/I been given, and what are we going to do with it? Add to it, do the best we can with what we got? or do we look at the person that has more talents and strive to be like them???

Last thought for now (I will have more later) Romans 9:21 - does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for common use?

Growing Boy .... part 2

Yesterday, I left you with this thought;

How good, or how healthy you are has absolutely NOTHING to do with what tools you have to work with, or how much of something you have.

To continue.....

Over the last couple of years, I have been faced with numerous personal, and professional questions related to church growth. I had a friend of mine state "You cannot have an effective, relational church with more than 1000 people". This has always bothered me. I have never been one to focus on the numbers in church, but have always liked and wanted to be a part of a large thriving church.... which is where this blog comes from. As I have been searching, watching and asking.... a couple of questions have come to my mind

1. What does a "Healthy" church Look Like?
2. What does a "Growing Church" look like?
3. What does an "Effective" church look like?

I have spent a lot of time talking with friends in ministry about the differences in different churches and their individual ministry styles. Most of the discussion revolves around the juxtaposition of the "Seeker" (SE) and "Spirit-Led"(SL) church models. I have always been apart of the "Spirit-Led" model. One of the most talked about points, which I will expound on, is the issue of "The Numbers" i.e, how many people are attending the church in question.

I have heard ministers in the "SL" model talk about numbers from the perspective of ... "It's not about the numbers.... but how effective you are at ministry that counts"
At the same time ministries from the "SE" model say "We are healthy, and therefore can reach more people effectively"

Please be aware, that Our church, though leaning more toward the "SL" side of ministry, is still growing very well, and is no way the reason I am discussing this topic

Let me start by saying this..... Bigger doesn't mean better, nor does smaller mean more "Relational".

As I look at this discussion, I see that it is more or less like debating the health benefits of Pepsi vs. a piece of chocolate cake.... pointless. Ministry is and should be about one thing and one thing ONLY. Bringing people to a better understanding of Christ! How do you do that??? The options are endless, but that is not what this particular blog is about.

I think it's time the church stop looking at numbers to justify how well they are doing, and look at the heart of the ministry....
Are people coming to a better understanding of Christ?? YES?? Then you are doing well!!! The rest is just details.
But while I am on it, let's talk about the details for a moment.

1. Size - Say you aren't growing in numbers.... does that mean you have stagnated? well maybe... but I think a better question to ask would be.... why aren't people coming? your particular theology? Style? "Relational-ness" or lack thereof? If you can seriously ask these questions... and hear the answer (Weather or not you agree with it) I believe it will speak volumes as to your health as a ministry and effectiveness.

At the same time... If you are growing in leaps and bounds, are you healthy??
well... again, I think the same questions need to be asked.... Just because people are flocking to you, doesn't necessarily mean you are healthy.... you may just be more popular! Why are people flocking? Because you have a great band, great theology? or because it is easy and non-confrontational? or because it feels good??

No matter what size you are, or what state of growth, you need to ask these type of questions so you can really know if you are healthy. Growing up, I was a BIG Kid, and it wasn't till later in life I found out I was NOT Healthy... just big! Now I am trying to get healthy

That's all for today.... more to follow

Let Em have another piece of cake... he's a growing boy!

I used to LOVE going to grandma and grandpa's house when I was a kid. It was phrases like "He's a Growing Boy" that would allow me to indulge and get pretty much whatever I wanted out of my grandparents. Unfortunately, it also led to the whole overweight and food allergy problem. Not that it was their (or anyone but mine) fault.... but what I was learning was that Growth was based on getting. I remember getting ready to go into the sixth grade. My sister had been playing the flute for two years, and I wanted to join the band.... My parents didn't have much money at the time, so they gave me a trumpet that had been sitting in storage for about 20 years.

Before I go too far, let me tell you about this trumpet..... When I got the trumpet, I remember the first thing I noticed was the smell. It was fairly pungent and had sort of an acrid overtone.... later I was to learn that is what happens when you mix brass and mold-- ie not pretty! The tuning slide had not been moved or oiled in at least the 20 years it had been sitting around, and had magically welded itself in place (Something else i learned WAS possible without a welder). The case was brown with a brown leather trim on the edges and the inside looked like orange velvet (that used to be red). I was NEVER Prouder in my LIFE!!! This was MY trumpet.... I had my own instrument, and was beginning to walk down the path to be my own person, with my own unique identity (and a crappy fallin apart trumpet that you couldn't tune if your life depended on it.... luckily we didn't live in jersey and weren't related to the mafia... but I digress).

I began the sixth grade ready to succeed with the words of my parents ringing in my ears.... "We give him 2 weeks and he will quit". What motivation! They weren't expecting me to fail, but up till that point in life, I hadn't showed real interest in much of anything.Let me tell you though... I was PROUD of my trumpet! I began band learning all I needed to know to succeed. Everyone else in the band was in the same place as I was... just beginning.... most of the other kids had rental horns, or hand me downs..... until...... DUN DUN Dahhhh (Dramatic music).... HERBIE!
Herbie, was a good friend, we hung out and goofed around in class. When He started in band he was playing the rented horn.... not a big deal. We were all learning the basics, technique, what it means to have "Tone" etc.etc. I was rapidly excelling and at this point in the game, I had learned how to tune my trumpet just by how I played (I had no other options unfortunately) and was doing very well. Ended up in first chair by the end of the first semester, and stayed there till I stopped taking band in the 11th grade. About halfway through the first year, Herbie came into class with an unusually large grin on his face.... something had changed..... he put his case down, and put on white gloves.....?????? What???? We were all confused, thinking he may have just joined a cult..... opened up his case and pulled out his trumpet...... WOW!!!! A Bright light hit us all and nearly blinded us in the glory that was Herbie's SILVER Trumpet!!!!!

Now This was not just any silver trumpet.... but a BACH Stradivarius.... $1500 piece or shiny trumpet! I just KNEW that at that moment... I had lost first chair... Herbie just won! He had the prettiest trumpet I had ever seen.... not only did all of his valves and slides work, and work well, but I had NEVER seen a trumpet without a dent. He even had a little leather valve guard.... man he had it all!!! I would had been jealous, but I was so confused as to how it was possible to have such a machine! Then Herbie began to play........

Herbie, if you happen across this post, please don't think ill of me.....

Herbie wasn't first chair, but at the same time Herbie wasn't last chair either. I think the guy that was last chair didn't even come to the school.... we always saw him on days there was a special event or field trip.... and I think he was 35 repeating the 6th grade.... not sure though. Herbie sat next to that guy. He was usually 3rd or 4th trumpet, and at one point when there was a lice epidemic going around I think Herbie made it all the way up to second chair next to me. As he began to play, I was amazed yet again. I didn't know that it was possible for a trumpet so beautiful that it brought a tear to your eye just looking at it, could sound so bad that it would make a goose fly north for the winter just to put itself out of its misery!!!

(This is the part of the blog where I get to the point)
I learned a very valuable lesson that day.... How good you are has absolutely NOTHING to do with what tools you have to work with, or how much of something you have. This is something that I wish I had to put to practice a bit more growing up... but a good revelation none-the-less.
This lesson has come full circle in the last few years, to be one of the most powerfull guiding line for my life and ministry... in my next post, I will go into more detail as to how and why.... but for now I leave you with this....

How good, or how healthy you are has absolutely NOTHING to do with what tools you have to work with, or how much of something you have.

Lots of hobbies

Here's yet another hobbyish project I enjoy... video editing

I did this for our church... it should speak for itself.