Friday, October 30, 2009

Thoughts on Life, The Universe, and Everything

I have been thinking a lot lately..... which tends to be a good thing... and a really really bad thing.
The good side of thinking is that it is VERY beneficial when writing programs, and developing new functionality for web sites.... the bad side is that I ask myself questions to which I really don't want an answer.

Here's one of those questions....
Q. What do you want to be when you grow up?

A. Well, what an interesting question, that requires an even bigger question than this... which is...

Q. Do you want to grow up?

A. Again.... a good question but an even bigger question is....

Q. What does it mean to grow up?

A. Ahhhhhh..... now there's a conundrum....
Growing up, I remember being asked the question over and over... What do you want to be when you grow up?? It seems like every time I was asked this question, I was filled with a bit of anxiety in having to pick a direction in life and pursue it and it alone till I die. Funny thing is that in all the years I was asked this question I never asked myself the even bigger question of what that even meant to "Grow Up".

For a purly sarcastic response, I should have responded with the answer "Taller".
I want to be taller when I grow up.... Yeah, That's the ticket...
Or how about..... I want to be an adult when I grow up???

So much weight is put into this question which should be really asked as ... What JOB do you want to have by which people can define you when you get older? Now THAT IS a GOOD question! To THAT I say, None!

You see, I have never felt right being defined as one thing above another. Recently (over the past couple of years) I have stepped up to fill in on the worship team at church as a bass player... I even have had people say to me .... Hey, aren't you the Bass Player... blah blah blah.... The funny thing about that is I have also been in the role of an associate pastor/youth pastor/worship pastor/small group leader/network administrator/graphic designer/secretary over the years, and it seems like at every step I am being defined in the eyes of most as that particular role in which I am working at the time.

Here's my particular issue with this thought process, at any given time over the past 15 years, I have been known to opperate in many of those roles, not only that I have also been developing websites and doing graphic design and web programming. Here I am now, 31yrs old, with no one thing I would say that I do better than most.... and no one career path that I want to solely devote the rest of my life to more than any other. You see the thing is that I am not aimless, as much that I am overly ambitious. I want to experience many different things.
I LOVE preaching, teaching, and counseling people.... BUT I also LOVE Worshiping, Leading worship and playing music.... AND I Also LOVE building websites, and doing php programming... AND I Also LOVE video and audio postproduction editing, and recording....

Seeing all of this, I would say that there are so many things I WANT To "BE" that it is impossible that I am any one of them.... so for now on, I think my answer to the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" will be..............
.......
......
.......
......

A Politician

[;o)

Happy Halloween everybody [;o)